Tripped a Fan
- Air – “La Femme d’Argent”
- Philip Glass – “Knee Play”
- Julee Cruise – “Falling”
- Tangerine Dream – “Movements of a Visionary”
- John Zorn – “Chinatown”
- Radiohead – “Introduction to Romeo”
- The Bee Gees – “How Deep Is Your Love?”
- Brian Eno – “Discreet Music”
- Stan Getz – “The Girl From Ipanema”
- The Velvet Underground – “Candy Says”
- André Rieu – “Harry Lime Theme”
- Frank Sinatra – “Witchcraft”
- Edna St. Vincent Millay – “Recuerdo”
Total Time – 1 hour, 19 minutes
When I Saw a Flock of Birds Today
I saw how anarchy works. The birds didn’t need any of the others, really, but they followed a leader … until the flock went in a direction they didn’t like. Then they veered off. Some went with a new leader. Some ended up on their own.
I realized when I was watching that happen that there are so many connections … necessary connections between people that that sort of anarchy just isn’t possible in a thinking/feeling population.
I was watching—really—how free they were. It was a beautiful thing. I don’t think that sort of freedom is possible for people, though, and seeking it out would just disrupt the balances we all set up in our lives.
Wonderful World = Feelin’ Good
Not to say that I’m feelin’ good, because I’m not. But I’ve realized that the reason the world sucks (for me) is not because the world actually sucks, but because I feel crummy all the time.
So if I could just feel good … well, that would solve everything. Am I alone here? Wouldn’t everything just be peachy if there were good feelins? I guess I could then become a warrior for the underprivileged, as I have always intended to.
My Stop-Smoking Song
This is Brian Eno’s first ambient work, entitled “Discreet Music”. As opposed to the last song in this post (before the edit), this is not meant to describe the feeling of anxiety and anger when quitting smoking, but meant to instill a sense of peace.
Intercare
As I have sworn off all things political, I will make no grand statement about whatever. But I had to go to Intercare today, both to Intercare Dental, and Intercare Medical, and take Dial-a-Ride to get back and forth. So that’s the full monty of Life On Assistance.
Intercare is the only place around here that will take my Medicaid and Medicare. That’s sort of what doesn’t get mentioned when wealthy, suited pundits make their own grand statements about “the best insurance in the country”. Truth is, out of all the doctors and dentists around here, I have to take the bus to the ghetto to get treatment.
Anyway, I go to Intercare Dental, to get an exam, and luckily ask if I have to pay. Yes, I do. Forty dollars. Of course, I have just enough money to take the bus back. Literally. So I have to cancel. But since Intercare Medical is next door, good time to make an appt. to see my doc.
This is the truly scary shit. I go in there, and behind the counter is the same receptionist I’ve known for ten years. She always used to ask how I was doing, call me by name, etc. She looks like she’s just swallowed a gallon of castor oil, though. She asks me why I need an appt. I tell her, “I’m going numb in both my legs.” True, that. She asks me my name. Really??? I tell her, in an incredulous voice. She makes the appt. for next week. Really??? I’m fucking losing feeling in both my fucking legs. Well, of course she would just steer me to the ER. I know the ER would steer me there. So that’s a non-starter.
I just really need someone to help me.
Trying to Talk My Mom Into Helping Me Make Chicken Pie
“What’s chicken pie?”
“I don’t know. But I think we could make it.”
“I’m too tired, honey.”
“Well, we just have to put our mean faces on, and say, ‘We can do this!’ ”
“Do they sell pot pies at the Mini-Mart?”
I sigh. Goodbye chicken pie.
Van Gogh – “Girl in White in the Woods” (1882)
Van Gogh – “Woman Miners Carrying Coal” (1882)
